Starting Over (Again)

The Emotional Cost of Building a Life from Scratch

Why “thriving” abroad often hides silent struggles and how to gently hold space for both.

What Does “Starting Over” Really Mean?

Starting over abroad isn’t just about setting up a new apartment or learning how the local transport works. It’s about rebuilding a life; socially, emotionally, professionally. And for many expats, this isn’t the first time. Whether it's the second, third, or sixth time you're creating a life from scratch, the emotional toll compounds.

This process can feel exciting at first, but underneath the surface, it can carry exhaustion, loneliness, and quiet grief. And yet, there’s often a pressure to “make it work,” to prove you’re doing well, to be the one who thrives in the adventure.

Why Does This Happen?

Each move chips away a little at the sense of continuity we need to feel emotionally safe. Constant transition—new friendships, new languages, new jobs, new norms—keeps the nervous system in a prolonged state of alertness. Your mind might be trying to adapt while your body is quietly burnt out.

On top of that, our culture tends to glorify reinvention. We’re told we’re “brave,” “inspiring,” or “living the dream.” So when the reality feels hard, many people carry shame or confusion, wondering, Why am I not enjoying this more?

Have You Felt This Way?

Do you find yourself struggling to feel fully present, even in beautiful places?

Do you scroll through social media and wonder why it seems easier for everyone else?

Do you feel like you’ve lost parts of yourself that you haven’t even had time to grieve?

These are all valid feelings. Feeling depleted, numb, or emotionally foggy doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’ve been doing a lot and your system is telling you it’s tired.

How Can You Support Yourself?

• Acknowledge the cost: You’ve invested energy into adaptation. That’s real labor.

• Create pockets of consistency: Small routines; your coffee, your walk, your playlist can offer emotional grounding.

• Notice what you're grieving: Name what’s been lost, even if it feels “small.”

• Challenge the pressure to “perform” wellness: You don’t have to be thriving to be growing.

• Give yourself permission to slow down: Rest is a valid phase of rebuilding.

How Can Sessions Help?

Sessions create a space to process all the complex layers: the sadness, the pride, the fatigue, the pressure, and the hope. We can explore how your sense of identity is evolving, how to care for the parts of you that feel lost or scattered, and how to rebuild not just a life—but a life that feels emotionally sustainable. Starting over doesn’t have to mean doing it all alone.