Why Do I Overthink Everything?

Hint: Your Brain Thinks It’s Protecting You

Have you ever caught yourself going over something you said hours—or even days—ago? Or felt stuck in a loop of thoughts about a decision you made, wondering if it was the right one? Maybe you're not even sure why your mind won’t leave it alone, but there it is, running the same scenario over and over again.

If that feels familiar, you're not alone. Overthinking is something many people experience, especially when life feels uncertain or emotionally overwhelming. Your brain is actually trying to keep you safe.

What Is Overthinking, Really?

Overthinking is what happens when your brain doesn't just think—it starts looping. You go from:

• “Did I say something awkward?” to

• “They must hate me now.” to

• “I’ll never make friends in this country.”

Sound familiar?

It’s not that you’re dramatic or too sensitive. It’s that your nervous system is on high alert—also called hypervigilance. That’s when your brain scans the world (and your own behavior) for anything that could go wrong, so it can prepare you in advance.

Kind of like your brain is running security at an airport, but instead of checking bags, it checks every possible way you could mess up socially, professionally, or emotionally.

Where Does This Come From?

Many of us develop overthinking as a coping mechanism—especially if we've experienced:

• Unpredictable or unsafe environments growing up

• Being frequently criticized, misunderstood, or dismissed

• Big life changes like immigration, burnout, or relationship loss

When the nervous system learns early on that “being relaxed = being caught off guard,” it shifts into survival mode. It says:

”If I can just think it through enough, I’ll avoid pain.”

In reality, though, all that analyzing can increase anxiety and make us feel even less safe.

So… What Can You Do About It?

The goal isn’t to stop thinking. You don’t need a blank mind. You just want to help your nervous system understand:“You’re not in danger right now.”

Here are three ways to start:

1. Name It: Instead of judging yourself (“Ugh, why can’t I stop?”), just say, “Okay, my brain is trying to protect me again.” This alone softens the urgency.

2. Redirect Your Attention to the Body: Overthinking lives in the mind—so gently drop into your body.

   Try:

   • Placing your hand on your chest

   • Taking a few slower, deeper breaths

   • Naming five things you can see or hear around you

3. Remind Yourself: You Don’t Need to Solve Everything Right Now: Often, overthinking is your brain trying to control the future. But not every question needs an answer tonight. Some things can wait. Let them.

Final Thoughts

You’re not overthinking because you’re weak or broken. You’re overthinking because somewhere along the way, your brain learned that being prepared might save you from pain. That makes sense. It’s also exhausting.

Sessions can help you feel safer in your body and more trusting in yourself. Not by turning your brain off, but by helping it learn that it doesn’t have to run the night shift alone anymore.

If this feels like something you’d like to work on, I’d be happy to support you as your online psychologist.